"What do you know that we do not know?
What do you understand that we do not?"
“These things I regret about my life”
The interesting thing about leprosy is the MAIN ailment is the absence of pain. Because leprosy patients do not feel or know pain, they often do self-destructive things and know nothing of it. They grab splintered rakes and sharp objects with bare hands and know no pain. They wear very tight shoes and create blistering and festering sores they only see and not feel. Leprosy patients are absent of pain, but it is that absence which dissolves the reality of destruction happening to them all the time. We ought to praise God for pain. We are SO quick to get rid of pain when it is that pain which tells us we need aid.
There are parallels to be drawn to spiritual and emotional pain. Without it we would be callous and shut off...which is destructive to our emotions, spirits, and souls. We make it easy by trying to defeat pain. It's like we don't want to hurt, but what if that hurt is exactly what keeps us from destructing. If we felt no pain, we would only be a spiritual leper...an emotional leper. The craziest thing is that lepers are afflicted, but I, as an emotional leper, afflict myself. I resound with lepers of Biblical times and silently scream, "UNCLEAN!" I am a spiritual and emotional leper. I shut off my own pain sensors by covering them up and saying, "I'm not hurt...I'm tired of being hurt...so I won't be anymore...I'm tired of hurting...I'm tired of caring." So begins a self-destructive disease.
I get so terrified of pain that I shut myself off from it, but without it...without being honest about my pain, hurt, real emotion, I just destruct. I am self-afflicted, but can only be healed through the grace of GOd.
In recovery! Experiencing pain with gratitude because at least I feel.
Some of the best thoughts come through struggle. God honors our struggle and despises our tepid, lukewarm droning. We are not preschoolers who walk straight lines attached to a rope. God honors the honest struggler. There are too many Christians trying to find life through soothing their soul, but true passion is brought forth in honest struggle. Our wrestling match with God is pregnant with passion and confidence. Because God will ENFOLD AN HONEST STRUGGLER IN LOVING ARMS. The good news is that hatred of God and others decreases as Christ takes the heart inch by inch, but it comes only through honest and passionate struggle with God. We may be a new creation, but we are not a perfect creation. The war over hatred and sin may be won ultimately, but the battle to replace hatred with love will be over only when we see Jesus in flesh. We can and will be angry with God, but have to be honest without reserve. We must understand the Holy Spirit will not allow a bottomless cup of anger to exist, and most often the heart will be engulfed in love when we are honest with God.
"There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, then he who captures a city." -Proverbs 16:25,32 NASB This is an issue of control. It is an issue of whether or not you have control over your emotion. With God's grace and our work, we need to control our anger and emotion.
Do not allow your anger and your emotion to be out of your control to points where you start thinking and saying things like, "I just get this way some times" or "I do not know how I got to this point" or "I just can't help it". THESE are points you are out of control.
Be very careful when something SEEMS or FEELS like it is right or good. Our feelings are undoubtedly fickle. They can (and DO) often lead us astray. Be careful in those moments when things just FEEL right.
Check these emotional moments, thoughts, and feelings. Check them with wiser people in your life. Check them with God's Word. "He who gives attention to the word will find good and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord." (vs 20)
When we are out of control with our anger and other emotions, it is because something in our broken heart actually believes (or FEELS) like that is the best reaction.
Our hearts are fickle, deceptive, and destructive when they are not constantly entangled and in-check with God's Word and Heart.
Anger is selfishwhich is why Jesus said to pray for your enemies
When you pray for someone, you cannot focus on yourself
Forgiveness is releasing yourself of the selfishness of anger
Today I see God's love in the plagues. I have been reading them for a few days, and now I see his love in the last most destructive one. He will kill all of the first born, but it is important to see how slow God was to get this point. He could have jumped immediately to this one, but instead he gave them chance after chance to turn and escape. He gave them several opportunities to get out of these plagues.
Yes, God gets angry and does CRAZY things, but his fuse is infinitely longer than mine would ever be if I were him in these situations.
Dont' look for his love and mercy in his anger; you'll find it in his long fuse.