Thank you for Pain

pain The interesting thing about leprosy is the MAIN ailment is the absence of pain.  Because leprosy patients do not feel or know pain, they often do self-destructive things and know nothing of it.  They grab splintered rakes and sharp objects with bare hands and know no pain.  They wear very tight shoes and create blistering and festering sores they only see and not feel.  Leprosy patients are absent of pain, but it is that absence which dissolves the reality of destruction happening to them all the time.  We ought to praise God for pain. We are SO quick to get rid of pain when it is that pain which tells us we need aid.

There are parallels to be drawn to spiritual and emotional pain.  Without it we would be callous and shut off...which is destructive to our emotions, spirits, and souls.  We make it easy by trying to defeat pain.  It's like we don't want to hurt, but what if that hurt is exactly what keeps us from destructing.  If we felt no pain, we would only be a spiritual emotional leper.  The craziest thing is that lepers are afflicted, but I, as an emotional leper, afflict myself.  I resound with lepers of Biblical times and silently scream, "UNCLEAN!"  I am a spiritual and emotional leper.  I shut off my own pain sensors by covering them up and saying, "I'm not hurt...I'm tired of being I won't be anymore...I'm tired of hurting...I'm tired of caring."  So begins a self-destructive disease.

I get so terrified of pain that I shut myself off from it, but without it...without being honest about my pain, hurt, real emotion, I just destruct.  I am self-afflicted, but can only be healed through the grace of GOd.

In recovery!  Experiencing pain with gratitude because at least I feel.

Identity Theft

A warning to all people who know me: my identity has been stolen.  Be careful when you see "PC" because you need to determine who you are actually talking to. My identity has been stolen by an impostor, and the impostor is well-liked and very crafty.  He will do all that he can to make you believe he is the real PC, but not be fooled.  The impostor looks a lot like me, but he acts and reacts differently than I do.  So be on the look out for a guy who looks just like me but may act or react in any variety of the following ways.

-  has no opinions of his own; simply conforms - acts "okay" when things are not okay - lacks emotional honesty - is over-anxious to impress you when he doesn't have to - seems obsessed with getting your affirmation - will not tell you how he fells about...anything - acts better than he really is (to impress you) - speaks very little about his faults or struggles - demands to be noticed - will draw identity from achievement - avoids feeling - overly-passive - not creative (lacks creativity that I have) - intimidated

He may surface from time to time from hiding.  If you notice this man, please report him to the proper authority.  If you should come into contact with the impostor, please contact his Father (whose name is Abba) and be gentle and loving.  He is harmless to most everyone but his true self, me.

Has your identity been stolen by an imposter? What should I keep an eye out for?