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But it was on SALE!!!

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Early this year I put out a spoken word poetry EP. I had been charging $4 which was $1 a track, but I think that is ridiculous. I have marked the entire album down to $1. WHAT?!?!

Yeah! $1

You can pay $1 for the entire EP, or truth be told, you can download each track by naming your own price. You can name your price at $0.00 and its all yours. I only ask that if you take it for free, you please click like or tweet it. If you're going to take it, please share it!

[bandcamp album=1107388974 bgcol=FFFFFF linkcol=4285BB size=venti]

Saved from what?

I need a more concentrated sense of my sin.  We need to understand our sin in a more detailed manner.  Only through knowing our sin in its detail can we really experience grace and salvation to its fullest within us.  Ozzie Chambers writes, "There is never any vague sense of sin [in the presence of God], but the concentration of sin in some personal particular."

This concentrated understanding of our sin is important because then there is real freedom in realizing what grace has saved you from.  It is easy for us to claim we are sinners.  OF course we are sinners!  We all know that and can claim it very simply.  We do not experience real grace in that though.

It is just as easy for us to claim we are sinners, but we have been saved.  Yes, that is true, but that kind of understanding is not concentrated enough to really understand what grace really means.  A more concentrated understanding of our sin allows us to feel and answer the real question:

"SAVED FROM WHAT??!!"

If we are only claiming the unconcentrated and ambiguous claim of being a sinner, we are no different than anyone else.  In this manner, we only know grace and salvation as a concept, which does no one any good.

We have to break ourselves down and embrace our sin that we may sincerely embrace grace offered to all of us.  When I begin to quit calling myself only a sinner, but a selfish man with too much desire to please myself through my time, my words and my actions, I can THEN feel a distinct sting of my sin.  When I feel that distinct sin, I am able to realize what I am actually saved FROM!  Salvation and grace become that much more real to me. With each sin exposed, the embrace of grace grows that much more sincere and real.

Ozzie writes, "The cleansing fire had to be applied where the sin had been concentrated."  When we allow ourselves to concentrate our sin instead of leaving it vague and general, we begin to know real cleansing.  In Isaiah 6, verse 5, Isaiah concentrates his sin.  He does not say, "Woe is me!  For I am a sinner."  We all know he is a sinner.  We all know ourselves to be sinners.  No!  Isaiah repents, "Woe is me!  For I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips."  Isaiah concentrated his idea of his sin.

The Seraph touches the cleansing coal not to Isaiah's entire life either.  He touches the cleansing coal to Isaiah's lips; the very concentrated part he had repented of.

When we can concentrate our sin into the detailed sins, we can answer the question,

"SAVED FROM WHAT?!"

Your shining

"You are the light of the world.  A city built on a hill cannot be hid.  No one after lighting a lamp puts it under a bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16

It is the very property of light to SHINE.  We are not given a light to shine; we ARE the light that shines.  Whether we like it or not.  We always shine.  We shine even during the times we think we are hidden.  We are still seen.  It is impossible to hide ourselves.  We live in a house of glass walls, essentially.  How do we live?  We must realize that no matter how we live each day, we still shine as a Christian.  The real question is, "What am I shining out for others to see?"

You cannot cover the light, but the light can be extinguished by its own choice and desire.  But when that light is actually put out....when we choose to extinguish ourselves, we are no longer followers of Christ.

The simple fact is I am a Christian, and I will shine because of it, but what do I shine forth in the name of Christianity?  Since we are the actual light, we can no longer remain hidden, even if we want to.

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The Life of Pc

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I once read Life of Pi; a book about a guy whose family is lost on a giant sinking cargo ship that was taking he and his family from India to Canada in order to begin a new life.  The author brings you along with Pi (short for Piscine) on the lifeboat he was lucky to get to after the ship sank.  As if that were not terror enough, also seeking refuge on the lifeboat are a slowly dying zebra, a hyena, an orang-utan, and a giant tiger all left from the zoo Pi's father owned in India.  His father was bartering the remaining animals so the family had a decent start in Canada.

At one point in my reading, Pi had been in the open Pacific Ocean on the lifeboat for almost 4 or 5 days now.  The hyena had eaten the zebra and attacked to kill the orang-utan.  The tiger had just killed the hyena, and Pi fears every moment whether he will be next.  Will he die of some other means?  Will the sharks get him first?  What would he do IF the tiger did attack him?

I went to bed that night!

I wonder what will happen to Pi?  Furthermore, what if all the novels we read are actually some distant reality actually happening and solely dependant on my finishing the story?  What if somewhere somehow Pi really is just sitting on a lifeboat in outrageous fear, and if I had put the book down never to finish after Monday night he never would have found the canned drinking water, ration, and a checklist like you would find on one of those team-building exercises your boss brings to board meetings?  "You and 3 of your co-workers are stuck on a desert island, and you only have a box of matches, a can of water, a pencil..."

What if Pi were really awaiting my finishing the book?  I mean Yann Martel (author) wrote the entire book; it has an ending.  But what if somewhere Pi was really stuck on a lifeboat with a giant tiger and he did not know there was an ending?

Moreover, what if Pi knew there was an ending, but my reading to it is the only way to reach the ending?  I think Pi would be pretty pissed at me for going to bed last night.  He's probably pissed at me right now while I'm writing this while I COULD be drinking my coffee and reading the darn book.

I say to Pi, "You know what!  There's an ending written for you, and we will get to it in good time.  Just wait!"

"PC, shut up!  Just shut up!  I am the one stuck on the lifeboat with a ravenous tiger looking for human dessert."

"Pi," I say with agitation, "there's still plenty of book left, and the book is entitled, 'LIFE of Pi.'  I am sure you get out of this.  Just be patient.  I am a working man.  I cannot read all day.  I will read tonight.  Just wait!  It will be fine."

Then I come out of my distant land of Pi and into the reality of PC.

God says, "PC, you know what!  There's an ending written for you.  I wrote it, and we will get to it in good time.  Just wait!"

"God, shut up!  Just shut up!  I am the one down here with bills, a job, a marriage, a family, school, a ministry and Satan waiting behind every corner for PC dessert."

"PC," God says with tender agitation, "there's still plenty of LIFE left, and I have titled it 'LIFE of PC.'  I am sure you get out of these things.  Just be patient!  I am a sovereign God, and the author of your life.  I will get you through your life as I have written in.  It will be fine."

As Children

God calls the children to Him, and He calls us to come to him as children.  We too often think of this as a call to simplicity before God.  Come to him full of joy and whatever else you think a child looks like. What we hardly ever consider is that the context of the passage presents children as despised individuals.  In that time, children were heavily looked down upon.  They were considered of no account.  We are too associate ourselves with children in the realization that we are all beggars at the door of God's mercy, love, blessing, and grace. 

We have to come before God as needy people who honestly admit and accept our need.  God longs to love the unraveled hearts, the broken down and the poor.  We have to come to God as children, because God longs to love His children who are otherwise despised.  We are ALL needy people, and we lie to ourselves if we deny that.

So I run to my heavenly Abba...my DADDY as a child who recognizes a need...I am a broken ragamuffin bested by life struggles, fights and inconveniences, inconsistencies and insecurities.

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Open-minded

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Why limit yourself to only the things you can fully understand and define? We are cheating our human capacity and innate desire to search and seek.

We are capable of searching out greater things than ourselves, but we are content to limit that only to things we can quantify or too easily define.

Who is the real open-minded one?

HELP ME: old journal entry

Reading back through old journals can always give phenomenal perspective to where you used to be.  I went back to one of my several journals written in the midst of my deepest questioning periods of faith...and this is one of the posts I found.....

Journal Entry from 10-17-01

How amazingly I've been spoken to in my Bible reading tonight?!  I am amazed by a simple phrase in Psalm 119, verse 86.  Its a phrase I now realize is very common in my prayers, my writing, my written prayers: "HELP ME!"  Two words mean so much and hold so incredibly much.  In an understanding that God truly knows my heart, and in most cases, better than even I do, a simple last cry of "HELP ME" means everything in the world.  Its amazing that out of this entire chapter (the longest chapter in the Bible), this phrase has stuck out and meant the most to me.  At the beginning of that particular stanza, the writer also exclaims, a little more eloquently, "I am weak from waiting for you to save me, but I hope in your word."  That is me right now.  I mean THAT is the very cry from my heart almost to the T.  I have been looking and searching for my heavenly father, and the continuous search has made me very weak.  Ah, but through it all, I am clinging to hope.  I cling to a hope in God's word to be spoken and encouraged upon me eventually.  That verse (81) is immediately followed by a phrase I also sometimes feel is my very cry.  "My eyes are tired from looking for your promise.  When will you comfort me?"  I have felt that so much lately, but I've never been able to verbalize it in my prayers to my half-believed heavenly Father.  But again, the most amazing thing from this reading comes in verse 86 when I do indeed feel all of this but cannot ever verbalize it as I wish I could:  "HELP ME!!"  Sometimes, I only wish I could pray verse 88:

"Give me life by your love..."

But I am so content and encouraged in bolding exclaiming,

"HELP ME!!"

And cling to the hope that he will.

Lost Child

Ozzie Chambers writes, "Is the Son of God praying in me or am I dictating to him?"

This question has ravished me this morning.  My intimacy with God has been on my mind and heart heavily the last few days.  I spend time nearly every morning in the WORD, but come to realize last night that my intimacy is none the better for it.  Now why and how could that be?

My intimacy is flourished in times of communion with God, and I could only study my Bible every day for hours at a time and be no closer to the heart of God...not because of the Bible, of course, but because I have only studied the Bible.  When he Bible becomes a source for study alone, it is only a textbook and it will not contribute much to communion with the Father.  To intimacy!

My intimacy with Christ has been moved around like a puzzle, and has eventually taken a back-burner to my Biblical study.

I desire intimacy with my Father and Abba.  That happens when I come to God as the child I am.

I am reminded of Christ as a child becoming a man in Luke, Chapter 2.  Jesus is in the temple talking to the elders.  Mary and Joseph are freaking out looking for Jesus.  Mary finally comes across Jesus in the temple.  She remembers her worry, fear, and terror only seconds ago. "I lost the Son of God.  God gives me one thing and I lose him.  What am I going to do about this?  My child is gone!  I am going to spank that Savior so badly for leaving my side (or put Him in time out for a while...depending upon your particular parenting style...I am sure the Bible supports whatever your style in some way if you make it.)

Anyway, side track aside, Mary gets pretty pissed.

She says, "Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior," (because a mother's anger is expressed best by addressing you by your full name), "Why do you do this to me?  Your father has been worried sick about you.  We've been looking all over for you?"

Of course Jesus is....well.....Jesus, so he's always pulling THAT card.  He says to Mary, "Why were you looking for me?  Didn't you know I would be in my Father's house?"

Even Jesus knew what it was like to be a child.  A child always wants to be with his Father, and we are reminded that Joseph was not Jesus' Father.  To Jesus, only God was his Father, and Jesus was with God in child-like communion.

How much do I come face-to-face with my Father?  I desire to be with God like a child.  To be in such union with my Father that my prayers are coming from Jesus within me.  I want Jesus within me to pray and act through me as the child who just longs to be in his Father's house all the time. I want the child Jesus within me to pray for me to our Abba who wants great intimacy and tender loving connection with us.

I want to be so identified with the Lord's life that I am simply a child of God.  I want the SON of God within me.

Frustration

"The LORD nullifies the counsel of the nations; He frustrates the plans of the peoples. The counsel of the LORD stands forever, the plans of His heart from generation to generation." Psalm 33:10-11

I often pray for others and every once in a while for myself that all my plans would be frustrated and thwarted if it means I can learn to trust HIS plans even more.

No, it is not an easy prayer to prayer; especially when it is answered.

But it is the best possible prayer; especially when it is answered.

Waiting to be moved

A couple weeks ago my oldest daughter, Bryleigh, turned 2. She had her first of two Peppa Pig parties to celebrate with her absolute favorite television personality. As every child should, Bry was showered with gifts from family. One of which was her first 'bike'; a purple (favorite color) Radio Flyer tricycle with a personalized license plate.

A couple days ago we were giving it a whirl on our front sidewalk. Tonya, my wife, tried to help her learn while holding our infant. It was not working, and at one point Tonya said:

"She doesn't really get it; the whole pushing and peddling! She just sits there waiting to be moved."

Immediately, my mind saw so many church-going believers. How many of us are attempting to use the Church to move us without trying to actually learn how to do this life of faith? Any given Sunday, about noon, I catch myself wondering whether my morning was worth it as I have not been moved. 

This life of faith is an intentional one. It is a life to strive for and apply each day. We will never learn or grow if we only sit waiting to be moved.