why God

Save some for Me

savetimeLast night I had a real hard time sleeping likely due to the great hunger from eating less and less these days on a diet, but I believe it was equally a spiritual hunger from less and less experience of God's presence these days. When I could not sleep, I chose to listen to that spiritual hunger. God spoke to my listening heart last night, and it was to say, "Save room for me."

Over and over God spoke these words to my heart last night. "Save room for me." I laid in my bed hearing those words over and over until the word "enough" was added to the phrase. God spoke to my heart and said, "Save enough room for me."

In a time of spiritual hunger and wilderness, God has made clear to me I need to begin setting aside and saving time for Him. Also, that time needs to be enough for Him to fit. I am not to save time for my God in the forced margins of time I concoct.

With no job, I have been surprised how little time it seems I have now. I am walking a wilderness. D.T. Olson said, "When one is forced to endure the wilderness for a time, it may be experienced either as a place of maturing and learning or as a place of disintegration and death." At this point, I feel more pressed than I did when I was employed in full time ministry, and right now has been a difficult wilderness season for me.

I have been challenged to begin asking WHAT instead of WHY. "O my God, what are you doing in my heart and life while I am waiting?" I do not need to ask WHY God is doing anything, because most likely is a question to which I will never get the answer.

Right now, though, I am to save enough time for my God, my Abba, and my Jesus. I am to save time that is enough for Him to fill rather than cram tightly within.

How Arrogant Am I

How arrogant am I! Turns out, quite a bit! Colossians 1 tells us that we are all created by God for God.

It reminds me of the joke about the cat and dog.  The dog says, "You feed me. You pet me. You give me shelter; you must be God." The cat says, "You feed me. You pet me. You give me shelter; I must be God." I think there is an entire book written about "Cat and Dog Theology", but here's the deal I am trying to learn at this moment:

How often do I treat God like I was created to be served by Him, or worse yet, that I created Him so that he would serve me?

When I take a moment to reflect on my worship, my prayer life, my faith overall, I am sobered by how arrogant I really am.  I have treated God as though it is His job to be at my beckon call; as though he were created for me and not the other way around.

How much time have I spent asking that God take care of ME, bless ME, heal ME, be with and take care of MY friends and family? Now I realize we are told to ask and it will be given, seek and we will find, but is that all I have done?

Perhaps the answer lies in what happens in my heart when those requests are NOT answered as I request or expect.  Do I get frustrated with God? Do I expect an explanation from God? Honestly, how many times have I asked God "why" as though His work and choices need to be checked; much less checked by ME?

Daniel 4:35 says, "All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing.  He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to Him: 'What have you done?'"

All those times I have wanted to ask God "WHY!" God is not obligated to answer those questions.

How arrogant I have become!