Save some for Me

savetimeLast night I had a real hard time sleeping likely due to the great hunger from eating less and less these days on a diet, but I believe it was equally a spiritual hunger from less and less experience of God's presence these days. When I could not sleep, I chose to listen to that spiritual hunger. God spoke to my listening heart last night, and it was to say, "Save room for me."

Over and over God spoke these words to my heart last night. "Save room for me." I laid in my bed hearing those words over and over until the word "enough" was added to the phrase. God spoke to my heart and said, "Save enough room for me."

In a time of spiritual hunger and wilderness, God has made clear to me I need to begin setting aside and saving time for Him. Also, that time needs to be enough for Him to fit. I am not to save time for my God in the forced margins of time I concoct.

With no job, I have been surprised how little time it seems I have now. I am walking a wilderness. D.T. Olson said, "When one is forced to endure the wilderness for a time, it may be experienced either as a place of maturing and learning or as a place of disintegration and death." At this point, I feel more pressed than I did when I was employed in full time ministry, and right now has been a difficult wilderness season for me.

I have been challenged to begin asking WHAT instead of WHY. "O my God, what are you doing in my heart and life while I am waiting?" I do not need to ask WHY God is doing anything, because most likely is a question to which I will never get the answer.

Right now, though, I am to save enough time for my God, my Abba, and my Jesus. I am to save time that is enough for Him to fill rather than cram tightly within.

What Moses dreamed of

"would that all the LORD's people were prophets, that the LORD would put His Spirit upon them." (Numbers 11:29)

What Moses basically dreamed of IS our reality today. ALL followers of Jesus have his Spirit in them and upon them. This is absolutely incredible and we rarely tap into it, use it, or listen to what Moses only dreamed of.

3 dreams for 2011

Resolutions are not generally something I spend too much time casting. Goals are not a typical party of my vocabulary or reality. Vision casting is not an expertise I would project onto myself.

But I love to dream I cannot NOT create

The dreams I have for this year are to:

Poemize each sermon I write, make a spoken word EP (even if just for me), take more pictures of nothing particular, draw outside the lines of "3", self-publish a book about...something, shoot more video, share more video, join a poetry/writing group, join a rec volleyball league, start and finish P90X again, wear a fake mustache at least once, learn more ukulele, add to this list...

What are your dreams, resolutions, goals, hopes for 2011?

PRETEND: for my daughter

Dear Bryleigh,

Begin pretending now.

Pretend the world needs you though it does not revolve around you

Pretend rest for the restless resounds in relationship with you

Pretend you have the secret which is salve for the serrated heart

Pretend within you wells wisdom that is the antithesis of arrogance

Pretend you are capable of a compassion reserved for fairy tales and far-off lands

Pretend your hands can heal the heart of the untouchable

Pretend you are different from those who look just like you who hate those who don't look just like you

Pretend that a disgusting world which wants to be wonderful depends on your touch your voice your love

Pretend as though pretending enough can produce a reality others can only pretend.

Love Dad.