The trouble with self-reliant leaders

Self-reliant leaders are relying on limited resources.

I became a self-reliant leader over time, and in so doing, I was dependent upon limited resources. I had not really learned to rely on God and others.

The self-reliant leader is, first, not dependent upon the Holy Spirit. In his book Lion and Lamb, Brennan Manning wrote, "How vast are the resources of His power open to us who believe in Him!" This self-reliant leader is not resembling the gospel of Jesus Christ which has said all of this vast power of God has been available to you to depend upon.

Secondly, the self-reliant leader relies on limited resources in his lack of dependence upon others. Self-reliant leaders lead in isolation from others, and pride is the reason for all our isolation. Often those who lead alone find an interesting resistance in their heart and lfie. Perhaps they blame it on Satan, but that resistance is not Satan; it is God. For "God resists the proud, and he lifts up the humble." (James 4:6)

Great leaders are not self-reliant. They learn to rely wholly on God and also on others for strength.

Peculiar Trust

Trust is a peculiar thing to understand and even more difficult to live out.  Trust is difficult because it requires honesty most of us are not used to.  In order for me to trust, I must be willing to be honest fully.  I must be willing to present the reality of myself.  This honesty involves everything and not just honesty about the things that are easy and pleasant. This means my emotions are included.  It means when I am angry, hurt or sad, I have to be as honest as I am when I am thrilled.  If I am willing and able to be honest with these things, I am able to really trust.  If am not able or willing to be honest with Tonya when I am angry or saddened, I do not trust my wife.  If I am only fully honest with Tonya when everything is great and thrilling while hiding away my frustration or pain, I do not trust my wife.

How then do we trust an invisible God?  How then do I learn to trust a Heavenly Father?  I suppose the question to answer that question is, "How honest am I with God?"

When I am frustrated and angry with the circumstances of life, why am I praying without the cursing and fury in order to remain reverent even in my anger?  When I am terrified and stressed  about a big life decision I need to make, why am I praying pretty "if it be thy will" prayers?  When all the world feels against me, and I am down and out, why are my prayers absent?  Why are my prayers only passionate and heart-felt when I am thanking God for something?

Why? Because I do not really trust God?

I do not trust God enough to be angry with him or my circumstances.  I do not trust God enough to bring myself bedraggled and broken and absent of piety.  I do not trust God enough to simply be honest with my worry and stress.

If I am unwilling to just be honest with my pain, anger, worry, and hurt, I do not trust God enough to be thrilled and thankful.

On love and trust

We trust someone because we love them. We do not try to trust someone so that we can love them.  It would not be very loving or trusting to do it that way.  Trust has to be risky by its very nature.  There must be some sort of leap involved or there is not real trust.  You do not trust someone because you study that person.  You trust someone BECAUSE you love them.  If you are only studying and looking for proof you are not actually trusting at all. I actually trust God BECAUSE I love him.  If I only trusted of God what was proven, I would not have trusted at all.  I do not trust SO THAT I will love God.  My love for God drives me to trust him.

Sure, I wrestle and fight with that trust all the time.  There are times in my life when that trust is tested, but I remember, then, how much I love my Father.  When I remember how much I love my Father, I can remember if I really loved I would trust Him.

I may cry out to God in hurt, pain, and misunderstanding as long as I ultimately cry out, "Abba, I give you my spirit;" as long as I can say, "Thank you" even if through clenched teeth.

Straight and Broken

We have been told to trust God with all of our heart, quit trusting only our understanding, and He will make all our of paths straight. (Prov. 3:5-6) My faith and life have seemed to come with a continual reminder over the last couple months. Though the path provided for us is straight and narrow, never are we promised that path will be without difficult bumps. 

There is reassurance that you are still on the right path even when it is difficult. Just keep going straight.