Within myself is another person; a much younger person with an imagination and an anxiety to express that imagination in endless ways. It has no name. Perhaps I should give him a name, but it really doesn't need one. It is me. It is only me within me. It is the layer of me I've left behind the present me. No! It is all present me, only this person within me, that is still me, is the person I have left stifled by all the other me I deem more important and serious or responsible.
That younger me within is the artist, the creator, the child. The artist has been forgotten without use or engagement. The artist was once the primary voice and motivator. Then my chronological age overtook my artist. Artistry did not pay the bills or......they didn't....pay...the bills. Could that REALLY be the only thing keeping that part of me quiet? Have I stifled and nearly snuffed the artist because he didn't pay the bills?
Had I forgotten that he brought me joy, rest, love, and intimacy with God and people? All those things begin to get lost, and it has a lot to do with my broken connection with the dreamer, the artist. All of the other things, many of them which DO pay the bills, lack creativity and forward thinking because they have not engaged the younger artist in the discussion, the work, the planning.
The younger part of me, the artist, is growing weary of being ignored and pushed down. It is time that he is not only engaged again, but that he begins to lead and direct again. The artist may not be the primary bread-winner, but without him all the others who make the money are losing joy, dreams, excitement, creativity, and passion.