If God were still asking us today, "Do you love me?" (John 21:15-17), I am not certain of my answer...today.
I know the right answer. I know the answer I'd hope to give. I am not certain of my honest answer...today.
When I read in the word what it means to love God, I have to wonder in honesty if I really do love God...today.
If loving God is obeying all of His commands, I am not sure...today.
If loving God means taking up my cross to follow Him, I am not certain I love God...today.
If loving God means giving up my desire to be relevant, impactful, and known, I am not sure I love God...today.
WHAT I DO KNOW...
is that my heart longs to love my God. I do know that I have a desire to be a disciple and to hear from my Father as closely as possible.
I do know that my heart grieves the moments I am apart from my Father, and I crave connection when I am distant.
I know I love God, but my actions prove that untrue.
My God, please help me learn to match desire to love you well and truthfully with action.