"If you'd like to have any of those old photos, you can take them home with you."
"I'm not that much of a picture freak, " I said as I hurriedly flipped through the albums.
"Oh! I don't know. Maybe you wanted to take them to show Tonya, or just to have some pictures of you as a baby to show your kids or just to compare what you looked like as a baby to what you baby looks like."
I stopped flipping so fast... Turned back to the beginning of the album... and started again.
I was so young. It seemed so long ago. My hair was still bleach blond, almost white, and I vaguely remember any of the moments I was seeing in those photos.
My dad was so young when I was born. I am 30 years old expecting our first child in September.
What must my dad have been thinking when I was born? When I was a child...
Was he as terrified as I am right now? Terrified of "messing it up"... Terrified of....
The photos wouldn't suggest too much, but you still have to wonder.
And I did...
I see how young he was, and I have to think that I should be some degree less worried or frightened than he had to have been.
I see a cluster of years growing up that I look forward to providing to my son or daughter.
I saw smiles and stories I cannot wait to create for my child.
I saw a hope and an excitement that shadows any fear of becoming a father.
Even if only for tonight...