I thought I would at least put up a little glimpse into my sermon prep world for most weeks of the year. To some this is a picture of happiness and still for others it is torture. I, of course, fall into the former. (good thing, huh?)
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LISTENING TO: Joshua Radin
Last night I finished reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller. It is certainly my favorite Don Miller book thus far. It was one of the most inspiring and infectious books I've read since I read "The Artist's Way" several months ago.
A Million Miles inspires to live a better story. In a world and time when we commonly hear and say how meaningless life is, it may be possible LIFE is not meaningless; maybe YOUR life is meaningless. That comes with a challenge to live differently; to create a better story with more meaning.
There is an art to writing and telling a story, and many of those elements serve to LIVE a better story. With an infectious honesty Miller inspires you to live a better story.
I agree with Max Lucado's review:
"I already want to re-read this book."
Book went on shelves yesterday. Go get it!
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LISTENING TO: "Armistice" by MUTEMATH
As a pastor, my prayer today (and should be each day) is from Psalm 69:6
May those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me,
O Lord, the LORD Almighty;
May those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel.
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READING: "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Don Miller
LISTENING TO: "Oh My God, Charlie Darwin" by Low Anthem
My first book to review is in the mail. I am not entirely sure the title could be any more perfect. Are you serious!?
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LISTENING TO: "How The Day Sounds" by Greg Laswell
Today, I applied to be a book review blogger. The benefits for myself are free copies of yet to be published books I can read and then review right here on Ragamuffin Ramblings
I am perhaps too excited about this possibility. I have been less nervous for an impending job offer than I am right now awaiting the reply from Thomas Nelson to let me know if they will accept my application as a book reviewer.
Keep your eye out right here as I will possibly begin reviewing soon to be released books for you.
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LISTENING TO: "Oh My God, Charlie Darwin" by Low Anthem
READING: "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald
I was about two weeks away from doing my way out of doing what I love.
Two weeks away from not loving what I do...
and I love what I do.
This frightening point is one where creativity and inspiration run pale and dry, and once they are gone, passion and drive begin to wilt away as well.
It is a point when every email, complaint, passive comment meets no opposition on its destructive path to your heart.
Call it what you want: burnout, stressed-out, overwhelmed...
When you look out the window to realize all engines are on fire, and your entire life is rapidly losing altitude, it does not matter any longer what term you want to give.
Most of the time you have the capacity to withstand, what in a moment, can become too much.
It is the moment when it all begins to weigh heavily enough to break.
We do everything right, don't we? As good Christians or especially as good pastoral professionals, you know what has to be done. So you do everything right when you begin to see the warning signs.
When you are doing what you love and it begins to press into the overwhelming realm, you know that you need "more time in the Word." You need "more quiet times". So we do all the right things; we get back in the word looking for refreshment, a revival of the heart...we are looking for LIFE.
Day after day you "come to the word" looking for something...for ANYTHING that will inspire, something to "jump off the page" that will in some miraculous act of God's hand will rip you out of impending burnout.
But when you are at a point where inspiration, creativity, life, and passion are gone, you are looking blankly with hope that something...just...happens.
You die...
just a little bit inside.
When I left for vacation last week on a cruise, I was in a drastic search for...something...for anything. I was looking for inspiration. I was looking for my passion. It felt a bit like a drowning man flailing and grasping for anything solid to hold on to. Reaching for something that
just
wasn't
there.
In that search, I sought the right things from the right places. I had determined to read scripture every day of vacation. If I could do that, at least I had a chance to get where I needed to be. At least I would find the life I needed.
On my first day, looking out at the endless horizon and realizing how two opposing worlds (ocean and sky) collide effortlessly in a straight faint line, I realized in John 1:18 how two opposing distances (my tangible life and the Spirit of God) could collide in an effortless and simple moment of the heart.
Suddenly I was a Pharisee being reminded:
"You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal LIFE. These are the Scriptures that testify about [Jesus], yet you refuse to come to [JESUS] to have life." (5:39-40)
And in a simple collision of my heart, there was nothing to interrupt or block me. Two worlds met in that moment, and my heart found life.
I took a breathe of life into my heart, lungs, and stomach.
I didn't have to do anything or think of anything.
I only sat and let two worlds come together in a simple collision of creativity, inspiration, intimacy, and life.
For a week...that is all I needed.
I imagine I do not need the open ocean to find that place of heart again.
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LISTENING TO: "The Outsiders" by Needtobreathe
[journal entry from 9.14.00]
My God, My Inspiration, My Artist and Creator:
On the deck of this cruise ship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean I am present only to think of you and KNOW you in this moment. Though I cannot see you, I can KNOW you. Like John writes in the first chapter (1:18), no one has ever SEEN you, but because of Jesus you can be KNOWN. Because of your Spirit and mine, you can be KNOWN.
I am here at this moment, looking out at an endless horizon where two expansive worlds (water and sky) collide in a simple straight line and I am amazed at how two expansive opposing worlds of my natural, tangible life and your Spirit can collide in such a simple connection of the heart.
I am here at this moment, and it is intended for nothing else but to know you. There is nothing in the way. There is nothing to interrupt the connection of my heart to yours. This moment is only for this. I want to know though I cannot see you.
I am here at this moment just to know you.
IF you indeed cry out for insight
IF you raise your voice for understanding
IF you seek it like silver
THEN you will understand the fear of the LORD
THEN you will find the knowledge of God
THEN you will understand righteousness and justice
THEN wisdom will come to your heart
THEN prudence will watch over you
THEN understanding will come to you
THEN it will save you from the way of evil
THEN you will be saved from those who speak evil against you
THEN you will be saved from the smooth words that tempt you away
How many THENS await just a few IFS!!!
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LISTENING TO: Asa [Self-titled]
Almighty God!
The never started, never ending!
The realities of you, when I attempt a thought, only dwarf
how pale it is.
I am so far removed from the full understanding of you,
there is no reason to me attempting,
as some are in the habit of doing.
Nonsense!
Yet you love me!
Further nonsense!
Brilliant minds, which only make mine laughable
can contain information of the sun that serves
to belittle my existence.
tiny
What little knowledge I have of the sun,
makes me feel small, and it is only the first belittlement.
How do you love me?
These thoughts are far.... beyond
me
I cannot touch or grasp them.
You obliterate my ability
to describe or explain with any creative genius
I don't even have.
Yet you recognize me
out of eternity you meet me right
now
here
now
you are with me as I was born
now
you are with me when I flat-line.
now
you recognize and love me.
How is it that you care for me?
Are you crazy?
My heart whispers, it is all it can gather,
amazed that you could hear it at all.
My heart whispers,
Papa God, I love you,
too.
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LISTENING TO: "The Silver Cord" by Classic Crime
READING: "Angry Conversations with God" by Susan Isaacs
Can you remember a time in your life when you were your most creative? Is there a time when you felt like you had so many ideas bursting from you that they simply had to be enacted or you might explode from the extended capacity? When was that time in your life?
My assumption is that it was a time before increased responsibility and task. It was likely a time when you had more free time than you do now.
There is a reason for that, and it is not so easily chalked up to blaming the responsible life for killing your creativity. You only need to look a bit at the brain and the lifestyle you...we have created.
A study I recently read about showed the brain activity at its most creative moments. The exhaustive information showed that our brain is its most creative in the moments when it is allowed to wonder and wander. Essentially, we are our most creative in daydream mode.
I could leave it all at that if we were not so horrible at doing so. Daydreaming and creativity happens when our brains are truly allowed to disengage to a certain point. The brain has to lose focus and be allowed to wander a bit. That journey is where creativity is its most possible.
The problem for us these days arises in how many things require our focus; things such as television, gaming, even music make our brain focus.
I recently read an article about how the iPhone and other similar technology kill creativity in this way. Those with an iPhone or similar technology know how easy it is to "stay connected" so often throughout the day. There is always something to check, read, watch, listen to...to DO. So many of the things we once blamed "the boob tube" for doing in the evenings are available in our pockets throughout the day now. The iPhone can kill our creativity. (I also recently read that phones in my pockets can effect my potency as a future father, but that's for a different note.)
I have a close friend whose brother did advertising in Chicago, and his company gave him a monthly entertainment stipend to be spent freely on things like music, movies, and games. The company paid for these things because they believed it sparked creativity in their staff. I would say we get a lot of ideas and inspiration from all forms of entertainment, but I would say that the creative movement on that inspiration comes in the moments we allow our brain to just wander a bit.
When we daydream a little more, we find that creative person we thought had been killed by the responsible professional.
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LISTENING TO: "Hello my name is...EP" by Greek National Road
READING: "Total Church" by Tim Chester
How many of us wish we could actually be with God each day? How many of us would like to be with Jesus each day? We all try to have quiet times to do just that, but I wonder how many of us would have a sense that we really met with God in those moments we spend during a "quiet time". I have had that sense before, but it is hardly every day when I sit down for those moments.
It has me curious as to whether there are other significant ways to meet with Jesus each day. The easy answer is "yes", but the more difficult answers are to the question of, "How then?" What are those OTHER ways I can truly be with Jesus; a way that I can sense his love, person, and heart?
The first prerequisite question is, "Is Jesus himself the gift I am looking for?" What I am I hoping for when I come to meet with Jesus? Is it simply Jesus I desire, or is it his answer to my questions? Is it his provision for my needs? Is the gift I seek his heart salve for the places I hurt, or is it simply JESUS I crave? If I got to heaven, with all the great things like no more suffering, no more weeping, total healing, eternal reconnection with all the loved ones I could imagine, but Jesus was not there, would my heart break? Would I still want heaven? Is Jesus what I desire each day when I come to meet with him, or am I really looking for some byproduct of the relationship with him?
So assuming I want to be with Jesus, what ways can I do that?
Well I know Jesus told us, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me." He told us that when we serve other people, we were doing those things for him. In order to do something for someone, it is to say that person is there. It is to say that when I listen to someone, serve someone, help someone, Jesus is there. I meet him there.
When we serve, we are given the greatest gift possible at that exact moment. We are given Jesus. He is there. He is present. We can be with Jesus, and if THAT is my greatest gift, I would serve more people.
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READING: "The Great Good Place" by Ray Oldenburg