Something happens in the wilderness, and our identity is at risk. In the wild desert times of life we are interpreters of something vital.
One of the things which keeps us from being closer to the heart of God or from healing from the things that inhibit us is CONTROL. We are always running after and holding on to control. We desire to control everything. We want to control everyone. Then we realize we cannot control everything and everyone and it is devastating to our personal world. It is for this reason that we do not really want to be broken. It is for this reason we are unable to really be what God wants us to be: whole. It is for this reason we feel like our lives are actually "out of control".
It is a great irony.
In scripture, God is continually calling us into the desert place. There is healing in the desert; if we would only go. But the desert is terrifying. Some part of us knows if we go into the desert, we will be forced to journey, and in a journey you do not control what happens. You are alone in the desert, and that means you are your own company. Most of us could think of no worse company, because when we are alone we have nobody to impress or control. We have to look at ourselves and deal with things we typically avoid by directing our attention and focus on other people.
The desert has healing and peace that await us, but we do not really want desert healing because THAT healing requires us to relent our control of our world. We can no longer grasp on to the things we have always controlled (or tried to). In the desert, if we choose to go, we have to let go of all the things we try to control and look at ourselves.
The true control is that which those things within have over you. The hurt, the pain, the addictive behaviors, the selfishness, the anger, the bitterness, the fear, the jealousy. All of these things and more are within us, and in order not to feel or deal with those things we react...with control. As long as we can control our world around us, we will never have to look at or reveal those wounds within.
Then like a pathological liar, our life begins to get out of control as we attempt to control things we, in actuality, cannot control. The great irony!
Real healing...real peace will happen when we give up thinking we can or trying to control things and people around us, and begin to live a life of trust and healing. Our worry is only an attempt to control our world and those things within it. We cannot control things and people which is why our lives seem so out of control.