While Mumford & Sons release their highly anticipated album next Tuesday, there is one other record I am itching to get my hands on. Propaganda is one of my favorite poets and artists right now. He writes and speaks with boldness for the gospel that is not the typical Christian art which generally feels like watered down second-hands of mainstream art. Propaganda blows up everything he touches, and I cannot wait for this next record.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d25yBIWXayM]
Reading back through old journals can always give phenomenal perspective to where you used to be. I went back to one of my several journals written in the midst of my deepest questioning periods of faith...and this is one of the posts I found.....
Journal Entry from 10-17-01
How amazingly I've been spoken to in my Bible reading tonight?! I am amazed by a simple phrase in Psalm 119, verse 86. Its a phrase I now realize is very common in my prayers, my writing, my written prayers: "HELP ME!" Two words mean so much and hold so incredibly much. In an understanding that God truly knows my heart, and in most cases, better than even I do, a simple last cry of "HELP ME" means everything in the world. Its amazing that out of this entire chapter (the longest chapter in the Bible), this phrase has stuck out and meant the most to me. At the beginning of that particular stanza, the writer also exclaims, a little more eloquently, "I am weak from waiting for you to save me, but I hope in your word." That is me right now. I mean THAT is the very cry from my heart almost to the T. I have been looking and searching for my heavenly father, and the continuous search has made me very weak. Ah, but through it all, I am clinging to hope. I cling to a hope in God's word to be spoken and encouraged upon me eventually. That verse (81) is immediately followed by a phrase I also sometimes feel is my very cry. "My eyes are tired from looking for your promise. When will you comfort me?" I have felt that so much lately, but I've never been able to verbalize it in my prayers to my half-believed heavenly Father. But again, the most amazing thing from this reading comes in verse 86 when I do indeed feel all of this but cannot ever verbalize it as I wish I could: "HELP ME!!" Sometimes, I only wish I could pray verse 88:
"Give me life by your love..."
But I am so content and encouraged in bolding exclaiming,
"HELP ME!!"
And cling to the hope that he will.
Ozzie Chambers writes, "Is the Son of God praying in me or am I dictating to him?"
This question has ravished me this morning. My intimacy with God has been on my mind and heart heavily the last few days. I spend time nearly every morning in the WORD, but come to realize last night that my intimacy is none the better for it. Now why and how could that be?
My intimacy is flourished in times of communion with God, and I could only study my Bible every day for hours at a time and be no closer to the heart of God...not because of the Bible, of course, but because I have only studied the Bible. When he Bible becomes a source for study alone, it is only a textbook and it will not contribute much to communion with the Father. To intimacy!
My intimacy with Christ has been moved around like a puzzle, and has eventually taken a back-burner to my Biblical study.
I desire intimacy with my Father and Abba. That happens when I come to God as the child I am.
I am reminded of Christ as a child becoming a man in Luke, Chapter 2. Jesus is in the temple talking to the elders. Mary and Joseph are freaking out looking for Jesus. Mary finally comes across Jesus in the temple. She remembers her worry, fear, and terror only seconds ago. "I lost the Son of God. God gives me one thing and I lose him. What am I going to do about this? My child is gone! I am going to spank that Savior so badly for leaving my side (or put Him in time out for a while...depending upon your particular parenting style...I am sure the Bible supports whatever your style in some way if you make it.)
Anyway, side track aside, Mary gets pretty pissed.
She says, "Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior," (because a mother's anger is expressed best by addressing you by your full name), "Why do you do this to me? Your father has been worried sick about you. We've been looking all over for you?"
Of course Jesus is....well.....Jesus, so he's always pulling THAT card. He says to Mary, "Why were you looking for me? Didn't you know I would be in my Father's house?"
Even Jesus knew what it was like to be a child. A child always wants to be with his Father, and we are reminded that Joseph was not Jesus' Father. To Jesus, only God was his Father, and Jesus was with God in child-like communion.
How much do I come face-to-face with my Father? I desire to be with God like a child. To be in such union with my Father that my prayers are coming from Jesus within me. I want Jesus within me to pray and act through me as the child who just longs to be in his Father's house all the time. I want the child Jesus within me to pray for me to our Abba who wants great intimacy and tender loving connection with us.
I want to be so identified with the Lord's life that I am simply a child of God. I want the SON of God within me.
"The LORD nullifies the counsel of the nations;
He frustrates the plans of the peoples.
The counsel of the LORD stands forever,
the plans of His heart from generation to generation."
Psalm 33:10-11
I often pray for others and every once in a while for myself that all my plans would be frustrated and thwarted if it means I can learn to trust HIS plans even more.
No, it is not an easy prayer to prayer; especially when it is answered.
But it is the best possible prayer; especially when it is answered.
A couple weeks ago my oldest daughter, Bryleigh, turned 2. She had her first of two Peppa Pig parties to celebrate with her absolute favorite television personality. As every child should, Bry was showered with gifts from family. One of which was her first 'bike'; a purple (favorite color) Radio Flyer tricycle with a personalized license plate.
A couple days ago we were giving it a whirl on our front sidewalk. Tonya, my wife, tried to help her learn while holding our infant. It was not working, and at one point Tonya said:
"She doesn't really get it; the whole pushing and peddling! She just sits there waiting to be moved."
Immediately, my mind saw so many church-going believers. How many of us are attempting to use the Church to move us without trying to actually learn how to do this life of faith? Any given Sunday, about noon, I catch myself wondering whether my morning was worth it as I have not been moved. 
This life of faith is an intentional one. It is a life to strive for and apply each day. We will never learn or grow if we only sit waiting to be moved.
If we would be welcomed as the Prodigal was
we must come as the Prodigal came
- A.W. Tozer
The experience of absence is not the absence of experience. I have heard this many times.
"If you asked a man who is poor in spirit to describe his prayer life, he might well answer, 'Most of the time my prayer consists in experiencing the absence of God in the hope of communion.'" - Brennan Manning
Brennan adds another dimension to our desired connection with God through successful prayer: the hope of communion. The man who is truly poor in spirit is there because he continues searching after and coming before God regardless of whether he experiences or FEELS connection with God each time. He keeps coming back because he has HOPE. He has a hope for communion. We cannot allow ourselves to be thwarted by the experience of absence when we approach God. I believe it will happen more often than not. On the other hand, as one who truly longs for God through it all, I have to continually go back to God with the HOPE of communion, and I must maintain that hope every time I approach the throne and lap of God the Abba.
Psalm 27:4 says,
"One thing I ask of the Lord this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple."
Matthew 5:3 says,
"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Every year your church
grows a year older and loses
vitality IF
new choices, decisions, and actions are not made
There is a great story about Martin Luther, which I love to remember. He was the pastor of a certain church, and all the people began to complain. Martin Luther had been preaching "the gospel" every single week at church.
I suspect much like Christians today, his congregation was frustrated. So they went to him with their frustration (likely after several weeks of bickering behind his back).
"Pastor Luther?" they said.
"Please! Call me Martin."
"Okay! Martin? We're pretty frustrated with this week after week presentation of the gospel you got going on here. We already know this stuff. Can we move on please?"
"Nope!"
"For crying out loud, Martin! Why do you have to preach the gospel to us week in and week out?"
Martin, having probably practiced his response for weeks in his bathroom mirror, says,
"BECAUSE DAY IN AND DAY OUT YOU FORGET IT!"
I love that story!
The 3rd Chapter of 1 Corinthians reminded me of that story today. Paul had to do the same thing for the Corinthian believers.
1 Corinthians 3:1-2 reads: "And so, brothers and sisters, I could not speak to you as spiritual people, but rather as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for solid food. Even now you are still not ready..."
There is no such thing as a spiritually lactose-intolerant person. I think we all need milk from time to time, if not every single day. I, for one, could use a daily reminder of the gospel, because I certainly forget day in and day out. I need to be like an elementary school lunch. Every lunch comes with milk. Yes, of course give me the meat and let me chew on it, but always make sure I have my little carton of milk to go along with it.
A few days ago I spoke with my old intern about leadership and ministry. One of the things I told him, as he is on the forefront of full-time professional ministry, is to not only recognize the small encouraging moments, but to save them and hold on to them. They do not come your way very often.
As a leader of people, you are almost never going to get encouragement or praise from those you lead. In fact, you will always hear the things people are angry or frustrated with you over.
Here are 4 things I have learned (or am learning) to keep in mind as you navigate the discouraging weight of leadership:
1. The minority is louder than the majority Resist the strong temptation to believe the opinion of that person who dislikes what you are doing and who you are is the opinion of everyone. Remember that most people are never going to tell you that they love what you are doing, but the few who do not like what you are doing will almost ALWAYS tell you. Remember that THIS person does not like what is happening, but everyone else is good with you. IF there is not all-out anarchy, start assuming most people are on-board.
2. Save the good stuff somewhere A good ministry friend of mine once posted about a special box he has where he saves any encouraging letter, note, or comment he gets. Have a place to save those little things for a couple reasons. First, you do not get them very often. Second, those days when you are getting very discouraged and wondering if anything you are doing is making a difference or even working, pull out that box and read through those reflections from real people you are leading and caring for.
3. Surround yourself well I try (though right now not completely) to surround myself with a few different types of people, because otherwise, I will suffocate in ministry and leadership. First, I need to have friends who are not involved in my or any ministry. I need people don't know Pastor PC. They know relaxed, laughs a lot, homebrews, watches SNL and SYTYCD, drinks beer and wine, wears shorts sometimes, watches A LOT of college football PC. Second, I need friends in my specific ministry area. I meet once a month with nearly ALL of the college and young adult pastors and ministry directors in the Sacramento area. It is important for me to chat and sometimes vent with people who know exactly what I am talking about or up against in my area of leadership. It is more than networking; it is a monthly injection of keep-at-it. Lastly, I need wise people. I need someone who has been engaged in ministry for longer and at a different level than I have. I need them to challenge my attitude, my growth, and my actual actions. We all need a mentor, a counselor, a discipler (this is where I STILL lack right now as my mentor moved to another state).
4. Your obligation remains (remember your why) I was reading in Numbers 16 an incredible story about a large group of people complaining about their leader (Moses). Just read the chapter; a CRAZY story! In reflection, I read this by Matthew Henry: "If others fail in their duty to us, that does not take away the obligation we are under to seek their welfare." Do not forget WHY you do what you do. Do not forget WHY you started doing this in the first place. That obligation, that passion, that heart still remains; its just been knocked around a bit.
A pastor of mine once said, "Ministry would be great if it weren't for all the people." Leadership is always going to be difficult and messy, because we are working with PEOPLE. But be encouraged! You are doing a great job. Let me be one to tell you!
“When a man is born from above, the life of the Son of God is born in him, and he can either starve that life or nourish it.”
Ozzie Chambers has me chewing on his words today. These words of Ozzie’s are a gristly answer to the question, “Why do we pray?”
As Christians, we have accepted Jesus into our hearts. Cliché aside, the Spirit of Jesus now resides within us. That Spirit is now a part of our spirit. The Son always desires a connection with the Father. This is the part of us, which desires a huge connection with the Spirit of Abba. Prayer brings the connection the Son pangs for.
Lacking prayer does not affect us nearly as much as it does the Spirit of Jesus within us. It feels horribly disconnecting to us, but that is only because the Spirit of Jesus is so overwhelming within our heart. The Spirit of Jesus has overwhelmed our spirit, and when the Son has disconnection with Abba, it pangs and twinges for the reconnection…for the intimacy. And since the Spirit of the Son has so overwhelmed us, we also feel that pang. This is why we pray!
Prayer nourishes the relationship of Son to Abba and Abba to Son. This is why we pray! We understand that relationship is alive within our spirit, and we can either nourish it or allow it to slowly die away. What is our choice? This is why we pray; that the life of the Son within us may be nourished in intimacy with Daddy. When we nourish that connection within us, we know intimacy because the Spirit of the Son has so overwhelmed our spirit that the web grows more intertwined...and strong. This is why we pray!
“Prayer is the way the life of God is nourished.”