Why you cannot JUST trust God

Trusting God is a discipline. You have to work at and learn how to trust God. You cannot sit with someone who is going through a difficult time or situation and say, "JUST trust in God."

You cannot JUST trust in God. Trust in God has to be learned and maintained. It is a discipline which needs daily dedication. You have to trust more each day. You have to be intentional about trusting God, because as with trust in anything, it must have a risk involved. You have to risk something, some security, some comfort in order to trust in anything. Trusting God requires some sort of risk you are willing to take. You trust each day by facing those risks and making a choice EACH DAY to say:

"Today I am going to trust God in this situation."

"Today I will pray in the midst of my pain."

"Today i will tell God I am scared and lonely, because that is honest and I know he hears me."

"Today i will believe that God is sovereign; even if I can only half-believe it."

"Today I will trust God."

You cannot JUST trust God. Trust in God is a learned and dedicated discipline.

When I am not weak enough

1 Corinthians 9, verse 22 says: "To the weak I become weak, so that I might win the weak."

One reason I struggle so much to reach out to the hurting, broken, and weak around me is because I have not rightfully understood this passage. In attempts to reach out to the poor and weak, I commonly end up taking the stance: "Let me be strong for you. Let me reach out to you and be strong in your weakness. Let me be put-together where you are broken." This is how I have thought it should be for so long.

The problem with that approach, of course, is putting myself in God's role. God's role is to be strong in my weakness and put-together in my brokenness.

My job is to be weak to the weak and broken to the broken. This is how I am to reach the weak and broken.

It is not my job to be God. It is my job to be weak to the weak and broken to the broken and allow God to be strong where we are weak and put-together where we are broken.

Why I crave addiction

"Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied and human eyes are never satisfied." - Proverbs 27:20 This is one reason that addictions are so detrimental. We are created for intimacy with God and that requires an effort on our part. It requires that we at least work on coming closer to his heart. We have to continue to get back to our center, our greatest love, back to the knowledge of God. We have to do this on a regular basis. If we do not continue to get our center, we begin to wander. Before we know it, we "open our eyes" and find ourselves in the "distant country" like the prodigal. Now we need a dramatic and drastic return to the Father, back home. But how much less heartache and pain to stay at my home with my Father than to have wandered slowly into the distant country in need of a drastic return?

When I am a my center; when I am entangled with the heart of God, I am satisfied truly. The only moments I have felt truly satisfied are those when I am centered on God.

This is why addictions are so powerful in our lives. The world offers us addictions because of their nature. They will never satisfy. I will crave addictions for the rest of my life. Addictions feel good, but they do not satisfy. To be 'satisfied' is to say, "I am content with this. This is all I need." Addictions, by their very nature, are never satisfying. That is why they are addictions; they will always vie for my attention. I will always desire them. I will crave them forever and I will never be fulfilled. I will constantly desire the world's offers because they always feel good but never fulfill the needs I have within me.

I need relentless love. That will only be fulfilled at my Center. That will only be fulfilled by my Father God.

If I am to be fulfilled, to be satisfied, to be relentlessly loved, I have to stay home. I have to meet with God and allow him to love me.

God's Forbearance: what the heck does that mean

"[Jesus], whom God put forward as a sacrifice of atonement by his blood, effective through faith. He did this to show his righteousness, because in his divine FORBEARANCE he had PASSED OVER the sins previously committed." (Romans 3:25, NRSV) FORBEARANCE: (Dictionary.com) an abstaining from the enforcement of a right (American Heritage Dictionary) tolerance and restraint in the face of provocation (WordNet) a delay in enforcing rights or claims or privileges

I am, right now, really basking in the reality of God's forbearance. I love that the NRSV and NASB uses this term. It is phenomenal. The reality of this word really strikes me and teaches me more about grace.

"In His divine forbearance": This is to say that God is abstaining from enforcing a right. That right is one of giving me death or some other punishment for my sin. My sin deserves death, and God has every right to do as He wishes in response to my sin, but he chooses to abstain from that right.

This forbearance is also a tolerance and restraint in the face of provocation. How many times do I end up doing what I hate to do and essentially go on sinning the face of God's grace. I am a child who knows God gives me grace and so I taunt him and provoke him with my continual sin. Yet in his divine forbearance; his tolerance and restraint in the face of my provocation, I am still able to live an enteral life in intimacy with God.

Another level of forbearance is the delay in enforcing rights or claims or privileges. God has the right and the power to do as he wishes. It would be his privilege to punish me, but it is his love which shows me forbearance.

Invitation

If you are a dreamer, come inIf you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer... If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire For we have some flax-golden tales to spin Come in! Come in!

-Shel Silverstein

The measure of a disciple

"It is possible to know all about doctrine and yet not know Jesus. The soul is in danger when knowledge of doctrine outsteps intimate touch with Jesus." - Ozzie Chambers I wonder how connected I am to the heart of Jesus lately. The true measure of a disciple is his intimacy with Jesus; not how much they know. Now this is not to say that knowledge and study are characteristics of people who are not disciples. That knowledge can and should always bring us toward intimacy with the Father. But the primary question remains, "Do I have an intimate connection with the heart of Jesus?" Because THAT is the knowledge of Jesus that I desire.

There is a great story to be remembered here. There was a small church that had had a new pastor come to lead them. The church leaders came together to discuss the transition. One leader said, "Well what's the difference between the pastors?"

Another answered, "Well the old pastor preached that we are all sinners in need of grace, and Jesus came to die that we may be saved."

"Well what does the new pastor preach?"

"He preaches that we are all sinners in need of grace, and Jesus came to die that we may be saved."

"I fail to se a difference in that."

"Our pastor, now, preaches it with tears in his eyes."

How many kids do I gotta have

Before I had kids, one thing they frequently said to me: "You have NO idea! Wait until you have kids."

Once we had a child, they told me:

"You have NO idea. It is a whole different story when you have two."

We had a second child, and I thought I had finally arrived at this mark of maturity and adulthood that seems to keep eluding me. Then I get the congratulatory email:

"It's when you have three that it gets real interesting."

How many kids do I need to have?

Question God

I came across an old friend from the homeland (Muncie,IN) through Facebook. It was great to hear from this guy, how he's been doing lately, his daughter...all that stuff. It was also great to hear that, he too, had "found Jesus", but he still had a lot of questions. He mentioned that he is always looking for proof and asking questions of this whole faith thing. Questions are a part of faith. They have to be. The moment you think you have all all the answers, you have sorely mistaken yourself. Truth of the matter is that questions are essential to faith. If you do not have questions you would then make the assumption that you know it all. If you knew it all, there would be no reason for faith. There would be no reason for there to be an "all-knowing" God.

Questions are a strong driving force behind faith. Questions absolutely need to be accepted in the Christian faith. I think, further, that questions need to be celebrated in the Christian faith. For its the questions that allow us to realize something very important to Christianity: we do not know it all.

God and his ways will never make sense to me. I still cannot get past the whole concept that God can know me inside and out and love me tenderly and unconditionally. Never mind all the other dimensions of God, theology and Christianity; I still cannot figure this one out.

But that is the point! God will always be crazy to me. He will never make sense, but for that reason, I GET TO ask questions and pursue Him for the rest of my life.

Empty-hearted - PG

Over  and over, God reveals to people how they are to come to him. WHen they worship Him and bring their sacrifices, it is to be done with intensive preparation and intentionality. They were not to come to God's presence without the right preparations. In Exodus 34.20 God says "Don't show up empty-handed." Again and again there is a reminder we would not, should not, and better not come to God empty-handed. But we are often so lazy about our worship. We drag ourselves into worship on Sundays. We are empty handed and empty hearted. We have done nothing to prepare ourselves. We have not prepared our worship to be a pleasing aroma to God. Many or most Sundays we are lucky if we prepared anything at all.

Most Sundays we dray our apathetic hearts to worship and expect God to be overwhelmed by our valiant efforts put forth. "At least I showed up!"

My empty hearted worship is a joke and I am lucky I do not have to suffer the consequences the Israelites would have suffered for bringing such half-assed and empty-hearted sacrifice.

Later in Exodus 34,  Moses is so close to God he gleams bright in the face. He has to wear a vail when he leaves God's presence, but every time he comes into God's presence he removes it.

When I come to God's presence, I want to be sure I admit and remove any blockages or hindrances my heart and mind have between me and God.

I have to remove my vail every time I come to worship him. I have to grow sick and tired with half-assed, empty-handed, and empty-hearted worship.

Won't Stop Calling My Name - EP

Yeah, enough prodding from friends has moved me to make a 4 track spoken word EP. At this point, it is only an EP, which means I am writing and working on a full length. It also means this one does not have original music for the tracks. I am working with some other musicians to create some music tracks to back each of the tracks on the full length.

For now, I would be honored if you would like to grab the EP. You can sample it below, and you can grab it at

ragamuffinpc.bandcamp.com

[bandcamp album=1107388974 bgcol=FFFFFF linkcol=4285BB size=tall2]

Welcome Haddisen Peace Walker

Life has changed dramatically again! We went from being Tonya, PC, and Bryleigh to being "The Walkers". Instead of being attended by Bryleigh, I entered into the stage of life of being flanked by "the girls". On Friday, February 24, 2012 we welcomed into the world and our life, Haddisen Peace Walker. I believe that you speak life into your children's name. You speak meaning into their name and life.

"Addison" means 'son of Adam' or earth. We added the H because we love the nickname "Haddie" but do not like the names traditionally paired with it (Harriet or Henrietta). We also love that Haddisen is a unique name we have not seen elsewhere.

As a whole, Haddisen Peace is very redemptive as a name. The meaning of Haddisen draws you back to God's original and peaceful plan for His world and His people. There was perfection and true 'shalom', but of course, with generations of choice, humanity has terribly broken the orignal state God put in place.

Followers of Jesus and believers look to scripture without getting stuck in the cynicism and skepticism typical of our world's outlook. They actually believe and take God at His Word that he is making all things new (Rev. 21:5). They believe God will restore and repair what is broken. Not only WILL but IS! They believe peace (shalom) is possible.

My hope for Haddisen Peace is that she will live her life with a restoration lens through which she sees herself, God, and God's world. I hope she learns to see life not as it is, but as it ought to be.