2 Lies We Believe About Ourselves

There are two lies we come to believe in our belief system, and because we believe them, we react in ways that are destructive to us. 1 The Lies People Tell Us The first kind of lies we believe are those that are projected onto us by others; most often by those who are authority figures and those closest to us. There is no defense against these lies when you are younger. Those sorts of lies are the ones which cut right to the heart and become the 'truths' we allow to run our lives. If you were told you were bad, you believed you were bad. If you were told you were ugly, you believed you were ugly. If you were told you were dumb, you believed you were dumb. If you were told you were too dramatic, you believed you were too dramatic. Get the point??

The result can be an inability to tell the difference between what you did and WHO YOU ARE!

2. The Lies We Tell Ourselves The other sort of lies we believe are those we tell ourselves in order to survive. These are crafted by ourselves in circumstances when we were abused or neglected. These are moments when our true needs are not met. We grow less and less vulnerable because of this. We did not want to get hurt any longer; so we became less vulnerable in order to avoid getting hurt. We start to believe things (lies) like, "I don't need anybody," "Nobody really cares what I think or feel anyway."

We begin to believe things like this and grow more and more numb; less and less vulnerable. The problem with this is that refusing to be vulnerable may actually be less painful for the moment BUT it undermines our ability to have good and healthy relationships in the future.

We have to begin the process of disproving the lies (projected and survival) we have come to believe as truth, because those beliefs are tearing us down.

The Guilt Idol

Bonhoeffer said, "Guilt is an idol." I have been thinking today about the role of guilt in our faith...or at least the role we have given guilt in our faith. I find myself essentially worshipping and lifting up guilt in my life quite a bit. Bonhoeffer has a fantastic grasp on the role we often give to guilt and shame. Self-rejection and hatred are far too present in the Christian faith. It was never intended to be this way. We too often take our own self-hatred and project it onto God, and that does not match up. We too often assume that God feels the same way about us that we fee about ourselves. This is impossible, of course, unless we are able to love ourselves with relentlessly tender and accepting love.

We have to destroy the idol of guilt and begin to accept ourselves as we really are. We are all wounded people, and need to learn to accept that. We, instead, either lacerate ourselves with guilt and shame, or we hide our wounds with pretty faces and admirable manufactured presentations of ourselves. We hide behind those masks and never allow ourselves to be known as we are. Sadly, I often hide for so long behind some masks that I believe they are real; I forget my real self.

Guilt remains an idol because my unwillingness to reveal myself as I am, wounds and all, is an unwillingness to accept myself. That unwillingness to accept myself is my unwillingness to accept that God truly is a loving God. I may accept it in my head while there remains a great chasm between my head and my heart.

How willing am I to be wounded; to accept that I am wounded? Without being immobilized by guilt?

How long will I worship the idol of guilt?

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You're Welcome: Eliot Rausch

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Every once in a while you come across a website that just steals your attention right from under you. You may not even know why, but you find yourself just mindlessly clicking through because you just have to see one…more…post. These will be things I find to share with you; things before you thank me for showing, I’ll just say, “You’re welcome!”

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A friend of mine shared a short film with me entitled O Night Divine! I followed the link and immediately found myself in the world of Eliot Rausch. This director and editor has several stunning projects he has posted for people to enjoy online. I have attached a spotlight shown on Late Night with Carson Daily. Within the spotlight there is reference to one of his short films entitled Last Minutes with Oden. This thing will rip your heart out in a redemptive way.

I could not stop watching Eliot's films on his website. Take some time to watch as much as you can. My recommendations, in order, are: Last Minutes with Oden, Eds Story, O Night Divine

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/23510840 w=400&h=300]

Eliot Rausch on "Last Call" with Carson Daly from Eliot Rausch + Phos Pictures on Vimeo.

I am a spy, but so are you

I found this old journal entry, and identified with it a lot today: I am at a point right now where I feel like the 12 spies in Numbers chapter 13 and 14. I am looking ahead at possibilities and new places of ministry and living. I am determining what response I will have as I look ahead into those lands of possibility.

Like all of the spies together, I look ahead and I can see the good things. I can see the milk and honey; I can see the fruit in the land of future opportunity. I can see myself in these positions and opportunities with my enlivened passions and gifts. I can see the fruits.

BUT...

Also like the spies, I can see the parts I would not be strong in. I can see the giants and the possible defeat. I can see the areas I would not excel in, and I begin to wonder whether or not I would really be destined for this land of opportunity.

So I arrive at an inner-decision. I am one of the 12 spies at this point, but the question becomes which will I be?

Will I sit and sulk and say, "I don't know about this; I am not strong in this area or that." Will I stay back and say, "If I go after this, my weaknesses will get the best of me."

OR...

Will I be Caleb or Joshua the spy and say, "This land of opportunity is exceedingly good. If God is pleased with me he will lead me along and give to me what I need. Do not be afraid of the giants of your weaknesses because with God, I will swallow them up."

Will I know, then, the blessing of God onto Caleb?

"But because my servant has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to."

Will I be confident or cowardly!

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* This was written not long before I came to First Covenant

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4 Spiritual Eating Disorders

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Many Christians engage the discussion of "being fed", and I began to think of the following eating disorders in the church when it comes to "being fed": OBESITY: Only attend church so we can "be fed". "If I they don't feed me there, I'm leaving for another church with a better buffet." Always eat; no exercise. Constantly being fed but doing no work with the spiritual food taken in. Doing nothing outside the walls of the church. These are obese Christians!

ANOREXIC: do not need or want to be fed. never take the time to be nurtured spiritually. end up losing the strength and spiritual nutrition the spirit needs. ends up weak and despondent. ends up destroying and killing the spirit once it has gone too far. These are anorexic Christians!

OVER-EXERCISED: looks similar to the anorexic Christian, but a significant difference. often your Church leaders; obsessed with ministry. go hard all the time. never take the time to rest in connection with the heart of God. rarely fed, but going all the time...."but its fine because its ministry, right?" These are overexercised Christians!

BULEMIC: Often characterized by a binging of spiritual input. ends up expelling everything in an apathetic forgetfulness. goes to the church, gets fed (sometimes a lot), but forgets everything once it hits the door.

HEALTHY: ?

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Restoration: n

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res*to*ra*tion [res-tuh-rey-shun]noun 1. act of renewing or reviving 2. a state of being restored/returned to original 3. a restitution of something lost or stolen 4. recreated setting, as in a historical house 5. repair or replacement

re*store [ri-stawr, -stohr] verb 1. to bring back, as to use or good condition 2. to give back

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This is my word of the year. I want these things in my heart, soul, life, and world. I want this for me. I want it for those close to me, and I want it for strangers.

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A homeless man's joke

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Today I remembered a joke told by one my residents when I worked at a homeless and recovery ministry. So I am going to try retelling it as close to his portrayal as I can. There is this lady named Sally, and she had some health problems.  She ended up on the operating table and she talked to God.  "Is this it, God?  Am I going to die now?"  God answered, "No Sally, you have 40 more years."

Well then Sally got through the operation and got better just fine.  Since she had made it through and knew she had 40 years left, she decided to get 'some work' done.  She got a tuck here, and a lift there.  She got a boob job and some other surgeries.  As she was leaving one of her appointments, she walked out into the street and got hit by an ambulance and died.

She got to heaven and said, "God!  What happened!  I thought you said I had another 40 years!"

God said, "OH Sally???  I didn't recognize you."

Disobedient children and God's love

When you ask a child to do something, and they do it immediately there is a strong sense of joy and respect that you feel.  In fact, you even feel loved by that child because they have OBEYED you. Now imagine children were basically robots without a choice.  Suppose you only had to push a child's nose like a button and it would just operate without any further prompting.  Initially, that may sound great.  That sounds wonderful in fact...until we remember back to the joy and the love we felt when the child CHOSE to obey what we asked of them.  If children were only robots, there would be no sense of love.  There would be no real obedience; there would only be programmed response.

Sure kids make choices that frustrate us as well, but there is great love in their obedience.

God could have created us as programmed robots who just need to have the "ON" button pushed to go on doing what we are supposed to do.  But God created us with a choice and a will, because our choice to obey God is loving.  When we CHOOSE to obey God, I think he feels loved and respected and honored at a much more multiplied level than I do when my child obeys me.

When those you lead complain

When you know God has given you a direction to lead your group into and through, it is common for people to question you. Just expect it! They question Moses and Aaron in Exodus 5 (and many times after) when their vision from God initially brought the people much harder work and oppression. Once they came to Moses and Aaron to complain, the first reaction Moses makes is to bring it back to God and ask why He brought harm to the people. Moses knew very clearly what God had asked him to do, and now the very people he was there to deliver are angry with him for handling it the way he did. He does not give up on the vision or run away from it. He simply comes back to God as if to say, "YOU told me to do this, and now look what is happening!"

He was not giving up, but he was bringing God's vision and plan back to him and asking for answers.