Don't Cry for Me [list]

I married my dream girl I have a daughter I am smitten by I have a family who are vocally proud of who I am I have in-laws I am proud to call family I have 1.5 college degrees from expensive private universities I work with college students every day I have incredible students I have spoken and/or performed all over the country I have a day job that is VERY close to my 'dream job' I have some of the best friends I could ever wish for I lost 70+ pounds a few years ago and have not returned to "that weight" I live within 2hrs of the ocean, the desert, Tahoe, the mountains, SanFran and Fresno I had a hotdog and a coffee with Brennan Manning I have stood front row center at a Counting Crows concert I have seen 6 Counting Crows concerts I have learned life-lessons from homeless men I have jumped from a 100ft pole into nothing I still read and write with these things called pen and paper I have seen Michael Jordan play basketball twice I flush my toilet with cleaner water than most of the world ever sees My friends' dogs dress and eat better than most of the world's people My baristas know me by name (and I know theirs) I have sat in on a Second City comedy school class I was once Retweeted by Adam Duritz I get free books in exchange for writing about them. (win win) I drive a Scion xB I am a devout Mac user named PC I have tested and solidified a faith over time I have been ambushed by the love of Jesus in a way I'll never recover from.

No matter how stuck you feel or trapped you feel, you always have reason for a list like this.

Entangle

Not only did Jesus come to teach, but He is still making you what he teaches you to be.

This is not something Jesus puts into you; it is himself in you.

Come closer and identify more with Jesus than you just try to follow the teachings

This is not behavioral modification it is entanglement.

Telescopic Tears [poem]

Our tears are telescopes to heavenLook through trembling lenses for hope and deep senses of home

I'm not dead yet

You know the story in Matthew 9 when Jesus heals the little girl? When he shows up to heal her, everyone tells him that she's dead. Jesus says, "Go away! She isn't dead, she's only sleeping." Other translations say, "Make room! She isn't dead, she's sleeping." It is interesting that things we call "dead", God calls "sleeping". It is a reminder that God is always making things new (Rev. 21:5)...even the things we have given up on and deemed "dead". That thing or part of us we are sure will never heal or change, God says "Make room! Its not dead, its just sleeping, and I am making it new."

Dog lessons on being lesser

A couple friends of mine have a young chocolate lab named Teague.  They've done very well at training the dog.  He is a very well-mannered and behaved dog.  I remember a moment at a dog park in the Santa Clara area when Teague was playing with a smaller dog.  Teague didn't realize how much bigger he was, and he simply overpowered the other dog.  He was only playing, but because of his size and power, the other dog had no chance.  So my friend grabbed Teague and laid him out belly up and placed the smaller dog over him, allowing the smaller dog to pin Teague down.  From that moment, the smaller dog was able to continue playing with Teague. Reflecting on that moment has taught me a great lesson in earning trust from people.  In order to earn the trust of people, you often have to place yourself "below" them.  You have to removed the level of threat that you otherwise bring.  You humble yourself and place yourself below them and even serve them.  It is in this posture of relationship that people come to trust you.

Even Jesus, our greatest example of trust, humility, relationship, and service did not come to be served by the culture but to serve the culture.  God emptied himself, laid himself down and allowed smaller people to trample on top of him and pin him down.  he is ultimately worthy of being trusted.

Once you can be trusted, you can speak the gospel to ANYONE no matter what culture they're from.

I just don't like that guy

I can think of a few friends of mine who fall into a particular category.  They are those I remember being around before I actually knew them, and from what I had known (which was very little) I had determined that I didn't really like them a whole lot.  For different reasons (most of them unfounded) I had this bizarre resentment  or frustration with them. Then the crazy thing happens.  Maybe its at a party for a common friend.  Maybe its a team we both end up on.  Whatever the means, the crazy moment occurs when I actually have/get to interact with that person.  Then I come to discover new things through conversation and my previous doubts about this person begin to melt away.  Eventually over time these individuals become great friends who I can't believe I ever doubted or wondered about.

Really, every human relationship is like this.  Every relationship we have is weaker or stronger depending on which doubts we have faced and either disproved or proved.  These doubts we have about people are essential elements to human relationships.  They are inevitabilities.  The big difference is in what we have done with those doubts.  Have we come to know that person through connection and communication, and having done that, have we proved our doubts accurate?  Or have they been proven as mere assumptions that have stifled our ability to have a great friendship?

Faith operates much the same way.  I have different doubts about faith, and I only grow closer to the heart of God when I confront those doubts and determine whether they are accurate or if they have only been assumptions that keep me from connecting more intimately with the heart of God.

Metal Drawer

I remember an old metal desk I once had when I was much younger.  Green. Shaky. Short-lived metal desk with two small drawers.  I don't recall what ever happened to the desk, but I remember having one of the drawers years later.  That drawer may even still be in an attic somewhere in Wisconsin for all I know.  The drawer was very important because it contained treasure. It was the place I collected only the most important things to me at the time.  To most people, it would have been filled with worthless junk.  In fact, I am not too sure I would want any of it NOW (I don't even know where the drawer IS.)  But each item in that drawer was well thought out and discerned with care of its worth and warrant as  determined by me at that time.  I was careful to think long and hard about what should make its way into my drawer.  All other items were unworthy of the drawer.

Whether or not the items are of any value now, they were important enough to be sure I kept hold on the drawer even after the desk was long gone; even after several family moves later.  I was devoted to taking care of that drawer because it contained important items, and those items made all the effort worth the work and care.

I remembered a little metal drawer after reading through Philippians 4 today, specifically verses 6-8.

The last couple weeks, I have read my Bible a lot, but I cannot say I have really "come to God's word" today.  I have been disciplined at reading a book the last couple weeks, but not disciplined in connecting with God in that reading or much of anything for a couple weeks.  Philippians 4:6-8 has struck me to the heart to realize how important that time needs to be.

My heart and mind are little metal drawers, and that time I set aside to read through scripture or do ANYTHING needs to be approached with that in mind.  There are all sorts of things that pass through my heart and mind in the course of a day; thoughts and ideas about God, myself, others, the world... Which of those things make their way into my heart's drawer?

"Because," says Henri Nouwen, "in this useless hour in which you do nothing 'important' or 'urgent', you have come to terms with your basic powerlessness...you will find out that your many projects, plans, and obligations become less urgent, crucial, and important and lose their power over you.  They will leave you free during your time with God and take their appropriate place in your life."

A thief does not steal free stuff

"Love the Lord your God! Love your neighbor as yourself."It is a basic command Jesus gave us to live out, but what happens when the second part of the command makes us think, "I would never wish on anyone the kind of love I give myself."

You have to love yourself; not selfishly, but with an understanding that God wants you for who you are. Realize that there is thief and enemy who also wants you for who you are (John 10:10).

You are of incredible value!

A thief does not steal free things. A thief does not steal things without value. The only steal things of GREAT VALUE!

You have to realize that before you can truly serve and live a life of faith, because only then can you love others as you love yourself. Through this understanding can you really love others and serve others.

One of those days: when I put my Bible away

There are days when it seems God just wants to love me. There are days when I sit with open Bible and heart, and I wait...and wait... There are days when God does not speak to me in his Word even when I come to it faithfully There are days when I will sit and stare at the pages There are days when I will sit silently awaiting God and receive a challenge to close my Bible and let God love me There are days when I am ready and prepared to discover God and I am challenged to sit and let Him love me There are days my heart needs to be still and rest in God's love; to sit and pray "Abba, I belong to you. Please love me today." Some days bring my heart to a place where God has a different challenge than I realize coming in

If someone desired to know me they could only read my journal and blog so many times before they would need to step away from them a while and let me love them get to know them talk with me get a cup of coffee with me and let me relate to them

There are days I need to step away from the Word and sit with God and allow him to love me and accept His love

There are days my mind has soaked up all the love leaving my heart and soul a little dry In those days my heart and soul need to stop and allow God to love me

Ragamuffin Re-Write: Psalm 66

From time to time, I come to the Psalms and re-write them in my own language, context, and circumstance. It is a great way to engage scripture and see it come alive in your current context. Give it a shot some time! PSALM 66

O my soul, shout your praise as best you can muster to the God you love and desire

How amazing is His provision! Sing out within my flesh!

Praise God for His help let your voice be heard over the noises of your life.

For you, O God, have stood by me tested me though you may, I rise refined from the hardship

You brought me through the fire of Christian tongues full of hate and foolish gimmicks

God, you have rescued me from waters which had drowned my soul under currents of verbal slaughter

I have come through fire and water; you brought me to a place of abundance

My soul will praise you with written offering

Come and listen, o soul within me; let your voice call out what Abba has done for you

I cried out with my mouth and pen, and Abba listened.

Praise to the refining Daddy, who has not neglected my prayer or EVER withheld love from me.

What are the 3 most significant historic events in your lifetime

I found myself thinking through this question last week. I am thinking of moments I more than 'remember where I was when', but moments I could not help but feel the weight of regardless of my age or stage in life.This is my list...for now. 1. 911

2. Election of Obama

3. Rodney King

*There are many other big events, but I view these three as the most significant in an influential way. Honorary mentions might be: Space Shuttle Challenger, Gulf War, World Trade Center Bombing, Waco, Clinton scandal, Katrina, OJ Simpson Trial

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What are your disagreements? What are the 3 most significant historic events in YOUR lifetime?