5 Reasons Your Introverted Pastor Does NOT Hate You

Allow me to introduce myself: My name is PC Walker, and I am an introverted pastor. Conversations frequently come my way with students (my congregants) who feel the tension of a wall, which seems to be up between us. The impression is that I am withdrawn, gruff, insensitive, or even rude in some instances.

As it turns out, many pastors, speakers, and leaders are introverted. Your pastor may very well be such.

Does your pastor seem to: - think more than talk - have no backbone regarding conflict - avoid you - only share personal information with a select few - prefer writing over talking - dislike or even hate you

Allow me to be preemptively forthright: Your pastor does not dislike or hate you.

Here are 5 things which may help you understand your introverted pastor and trust that he does not hate you.

1. IT'S NOT YOU, ITS HIM. This is a part of his personality. The disconnection is not because of you. This is not an excuse; it is a simple statement of reality. The quiet reservedness is part of the way he is wired. It is not a reflection of how he thinks of you.

2. HE IS NOT A BOUNCER (prone to DEPTH; not frequency) Your introverted pastor is not going to be the type to bounce around from conversation to conversation on a Sunday (or whenever your main gathering is). Outgoing introverts have to work at it in large groups, but the depth of a face-to-face conversation with an introvert may be one of the deepest and most intentional conversations you've had.

3. THERE IS ALWAYS A "WHY" (processes) An introvert, especially an introverted leader, is ALWAYS internally processing things. When an introverted leader enacts a change, which makes no sense to you, you can be assured that he has been over and over and over that decision in his mind for days, weeks, or months.  Introverted pastors make no flippant changes. Ask for the "why", and he will likely have a well-thought out answer for you.

4. HE IS AWARE OF MORE THAN YOU THINK (he observes and reads people...constantly) Never assume your pastor knows nothing about you. A part of the internal processing mentioned above also applies to people watching. Your introverted pastor observes and reads people...constantly. Introverts have an uncanny ability to read people below the surface. He may not expose what he perceives verbally, but rest assured he knows you exist and...

5. HE LOVES YOU DEARLY...BUT HE IS DRAINED BY YOU Introverted ≠ shy. Extroverted ≠ outgoing. The two words are references to how the person is energized. Extroverted people are energized by people, and are bored to tears when alone for too long. Introverted people are energized by time alone and are drained by extended exposure to large groups of people. Your introverted pastor is likely an outgoing introvert, but 'outgoing' is a mode he has to put himself into. It drains his energy level. It is NOT a reflection of you...it is the way he is wired.

[BONUS]: He IS aware of the disconnection...and he hates it The downside of the internal processing is that your introverted pastor internalizes EVERYTHING, which includes the negative things. He very much desires to be connected to everyone at the appropriate depths a pastor SHOULD, but the very personality that makes him who he is makes it difficult to attain and sustain frequent connection.

He constantly thinks about the disconnection you feel, but he takes every bit of it personally. What seems like an oddity to an extrovert is a thorn in the flesh of an introvert.

Be mindful of these things next time you feel your introverted pastor dislikes you or intentionally distances himself from you.

Renewed to Steadfast [again]

Entering a week spiritually and emotionally exhausted changes your prayer. When the wind in your sails carries you nowhere, your prayer changes. In prayer, my heart remembered and prayed Psalm 51:10.

Create in me a pure heart, O God. Renew a steadfast spirit within me.

I prayed with focus on my need for a renewed spirit, but I got stuck on the phrase just after praying it. I had prayed that prayer many times. I have sung that verse several times. I had never realized what I did in prayer yesterday.

How interesting that something STEADFAST would need RENEWED!

It would seem, by definition, something that is steadfast would eliminate a need for renewal. You should not need to renew something that is steadfast.

But you cannot overlook the prayer. It is in scripture for a reason. It seems God is fully aware that our spirit and soul need renewal. It seems God renews our spirit, and he restores it to a steadfast state.

God renews our spirit to places where renewal is no longer necessary.

He never answers our request for renewal with, "But your spirit was supposed to be STEADFAST!"

Grace floods my prayer!

If You Could Bring One Fictional Character to Life...

If "bringing to life" is bringing to MY life, I choose Dr. Huxtable. You could have had the best parents possible, and you would still want Dr. Huxtable to be your dad. Even now, as I am beginning the long journey that is parenthood, I already think to myself, "Who needs parenting books when there are so many episodes of the Cosby Show on television and DVD?"
Today I watch reruns of that show and wish I had a pen and paper to write ideas and pointers on how to handle things in half an hour.
If I could bring one fictional character to life, it would certainly be Dr. Huxtable.
HONORABLE MENTION: - President Palmer (you just have to think this country would get FIXED) - Mary Poppins (how many times have you just wanted to snap your fingers)
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If YOU could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be and why?

Don't Love God Today

If God were still asking us today, "Do you love me?" (John 21:15-17), I am not certain of my answer...today.

I know the right answer. I know the answer I'd hope to give. I am not certain of my honest answer...today.

When I read in the word what it means to love God, I have to wonder in honesty if I really do love God...today.

If loving God is obeying all of His commands, I am not sure...today.

If loving God means taking up my cross to follow Him, I am not certain I love God...today.

If loving God means giving up my desire to be relevant, impactful, and known, I am not sure I love God...today.

If loving God means being in constant (or at least frequent) connection with Him, I am not certain I love Him...today.

WHAT I DO KNOW...

is that my heart longs to love my God. I do know that I have a desire to be a disciple and to hear from my Father as closely as possible.

I do know that my heart grieves the moments I am apart from my Father, and I crave connection when I am distant.

I know I love God, but my actions prove that untrue.

My God, please help me learn to match desire to love you well and truthfully with action.

Your Magical Tree

You have a magic tree; what does it grow?

Assuming I cannot answer, "more magic trees" I will say my magic tree grows money.

Boring, right? Perhaps! I sat here trying to be more creative, but realize all the things I want to do in this world take faith and trust in God, but practically, it takes money to make things in the world to move.

Imagine the good you could do! Imagine the world-change you could enact with limitless money! Imagine there being 'no poor person among us'.

I imagine if your magic tree grew money, the value would be something the world would attempt to steal. Like every good thing in history, a broken world would find a way to steal and destroy it.

Now I am wondering what I do with the value of hope in Jesus Christ that is neither magic nor fictional, but presently abundant.

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You have a magic tree; what does it grow? (be fun and creative with it...you don't have to take it down a Jesus Juke route like I unintentionally did.)

In My Bloodletting [unfinished]

Where is the clinic where I let out the things, which run in my blood?

Because in my blood runs the modesty of the Midwest and hospitality of the heartland.

In my blood also runs the serrated wreckage of hate and ignorance.

When my life source kills, I need a clinic where I let out the things, which run in my blood.

Sit me on your wax papered leather I’ll lay my arm before our syringe no matter how cold or rough if

you draw out all my blood line it up for the centrifuge and sssssssspin out all the detestable dross

Return to me a cherry current of all the grace and love I wish ran in my blood.

People of The Second Chance

I saw a lot of things at Catalyst West Coast last week. I heard a lot of speakers that my brain is still trying to debrief. I was inspired by many, but this is the image I cannot get out of my head from the week. If this forgiveness can happen...surely you can forgive that person you need to...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wONSfWNgQDA&w=640&h=390]

Catalyst Lab Day Highlights

Here are some of my highlights from the labs I attended on the first day of Catalyst (italicized the particularly strong statements I want to ruminate on) Scott McKnight - One.Life - To ignite a dream in a student is an incredible opportunity - Jesus traded in dreams --> and we need our dreams to be swamped by Jesus' dreams - "IMAGINE A WORLD LIKE THIS" could begin every kingdom parable Jesus told - "to be a writer, you have to like sentences" (a quote by Annie Dillard) - You have to do little things well and with faithfulness to plot the course for the DREAM God gives you - parable of the weeds and wheat --> let Jesus say what he says here...they are go grow together...the world is the field, the field is not the Church...but we like to rule people out, but Jesus says we are to co-exist together until the harvest - When Jesus says to love our enemies, we ask, "Who are our enemies?" --> Muslims, Homosexuals, Homeless --> we can tell they are our enemies because they are never in our homes

Rick McKinley – “A Kingdom Called Desire” - Matthew 13:44 à the one word that ruins me is “joy” à in his joy, he sold everything - Desire is that thing which makes us ask “Why WOULDN’T I do that?” - If I’m not honest with the places in me where I don't completely trust that Jesus is enough, then I can only fake it...you can fake it in church, but you cannot fake it in the kingdom - Jesus is intent on killing you and wrecking you SO THAT he can resurrect you anew - Most of us would trade our people for Pharisees any day of the week --> they do it right, they're easier to work with, they got the duty down...but THEY'RE PHARISEES - we're joining Jesus on mission, we're not creating mission...

Michael Hyatt - The Leadership Edge - Your heart is the key to influence as a leader - Your heart should be your #1 priority (Proverbs 4:23 says "above all else") - If you do not guard your heart, things will fail and fall around you - Your heart is the essence of your identity - Ask yourself the question frequently: "How is my heart?" (ask others the same) - Your heart is the most important leadership tool you possess....do you value it as such - closed heart:  you're distant and aloof...communication shuts down...you're more interested in finding out what people have done wrong...you're critical and demanding - open heart:  fully present, engaged in the conversation, communication is wide open, you are a resource to people, you're more focused on people than you are on yourself, NOT focused on finding what is wrong - people will emulate the leader whether he likes it or not...whether the leaders heart is open or closed

Anne Jackson - Permission to Speak Freely - The common denominator in the things people felt they could not talk about in the church was "brokenness" -Whatever is broken we tend to sweep under the rug - If we don't show the world that we are broken, how will they ever believe in a healer? -  "vulnerable" comes from a word that means "to be wounded"

David Platt - Radical - Luke 9:57-62 --> doesn't it seem like Jesus is trying to talk these men out of following him? - Which is so unlike us...we spend so much time and effort trying to draw as many people as we can...each time a large crowd came to Jesus he says something HUGE about what it means to follow him - Unfortunately, Jesus did not have the advanced evangelism methods we have today *sarcasm* --> people turn away from the call He places on them, and he SEEMS to be alright with that - "Come to Jesus and get ________." --> if we fill that blank with anything but "Jesus" we preach a false gospel - We have come up with so much stuff to get us excited about Jesus...the Holy Spirit is doing just fine without all the resources we surround ourselves with in our Churches - Budget Season is where we come face to face with how little we trust God's word - When you know God truly you love God deeply